Burdens of the Heart
by lost angel92
Summary: Harry is abused at the Dursleys. When he is rescued, can he ever shed himself of these burdens burned into his heart? Who can save him? What happens when the Ministry interferes? Will he survive? Set summer after Goblet of Fire, all other books ignored.
1. Homeward Bound

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter nor am I making any profit from this.

**Author's Note:** Hello to all. This is my first real fic so please be kind. Honesty with finesse is appreciated. I hope you like, and please review.

Chapter 1

The beginning

Harry sat quietly watching Ron and Hermione argue about some random thing. He started to drift into his own thoughts as the train made its way across the country towards Kings Cross Station. He was analyzing and reanalyzing everything that had happened, from the moment he and Cedric touched the Tri-wizard cup, up until he got back. Stuck in a state of delusion, he was hoping that he could find some reason as to why he shouldn't be at fault. Sadly, this wasn't the case, he knew deep down that it was his fault. If he hadn't insisted they both take the cup, this wouldn't have happened, or if he had jumped in front of the oncoming curse, it would have been different.

"Harry?" Hermione called out. Harry was startled out of his revere and look over at her face. He noticed that she was staring at him intensely.

"What's up?" Harry asked, putting on a false grin.

Hermione bit her lip, as if she was unsure, "Are you okay?"

"Give him a break 'Mione! Geez he was just thinking. Is that suddenly a crime?" Ron asked mockingly, looking at her as if she was interrogating him.

"Hmph!" Hermione exclaimed clearly annoyed by his words.

"You up for a game of Wizards Chess mate?" Ron asked enthusiastically, as he set up the chess board.

"Why not?" Harry said as he smiled. Hermione just decided to take out a book and read for the rest of the journey.

0o0o0o0

Departing at the station, they all hugged and as normal told each other to keep in touch. As usual Harry was a little uncomfortable as Mrs. Weasley hugged him and told him that he was welcome any time at the Burrow.

Harry just nodded and waved as he headed over to where his uncle, Vernon Dursley stood waiting impatiently.

"Any longer boy and I would've come over there and dragged you away from those freaks myself." Vernon hissed angrily. Harry flinched at his uncle's words and hurriedly dragged his trunk and stuff over to the car. "_This is going to be a miserable summer,"_ Thought Harry as they pulled away from the station.

When they reached number 4 Privet Drive, Harry quickly unloaded his stuff into the cupboard under the stairs and went up into his "room." He figured he'd go to bed early and get some sleep.

Late in the night though, Harry started thrashing around in his bed, having a nightmare.

"NO!!!! Take me! Take me!! Please not Cedric!!" Harry screamed seeing Cedric get killed again.

Suddenly, he was pulled out of his dream. He looked around for a second, until he realized that he was being held by his shirt towards his uncle's bright red face, it would have been an amusing expression, except for the fact that he was angry and quite pissed.

"What the HELL do you think you're playing at boy?" Vernon hissed at Harry with malicious. Harry attempted to shrink away in fear at what his drunken uncle might do.

"Uncle Vernon, please umm…. Don't do anything tha..that you might regret later.." Harry trailed gazing into his uncle's deranged eyes. He'd never seen his uncle like this. Sure he'd gotten angry before Hogwarts, but anything that he used to do had stopped with the letters. Now, Harry wasn't sure that he could do anything to calm Vernon down.

"Don't talk to me you filthy piece of scum. I should never have let Petunia take you in all those years ago. Shoulda left you to freeze somewhere where your sad pathetic body would never be found. You're worth nothing you freak." Vernon said, letting the boy's shirt fall. Harry scrambled away from his uncle in fear, going as far as the little corner. There was absolutely nothing he could do to stop him.

When Vernon reached him, he kicked venomously at him with no mercy. After he stopped with the kicking Harry hoped that he had lost interest, but no such luck. His uncle swooped down and picked him up throwing him on the small bed. He'd taken off his belt, only to start beating Harry with it. Harry's back stung with the force of the leather belt, knowing it would leave gashes. He whimpered at the pain as the monster continued.

"You deserve this you little freak!!!! You're worthless, no one will ever come to save you, because no…..one….cares!" Vernon said dangerously. Harry looked into his eyes, and saw the truth. "_Why would they care about me? I've always been a burden to them. Sirius could never take me, heck, I'm the reason he's on the run."_ Harry thought with defeat.

Vernon saw this and smiled easily, he was breaking the freaks will. Harry saw his smile and shrunk away. Vernon stood up and started to walk out, but stopped and turned around.

"You don't deserve to live." Vernon said smoothly, throwing a glass lamp at him with enough force to shatter on impact.

"And clean up that mess." And with that Vernon slammed the door shut. Harry glanced at the door and sighed relieved that he'd left. Very slowly Harry crawled out of the bed and started picking up the pieces.

"_Where did life get so wrong?"_ Harry thought, thinking back through his life at the Dursleys. He was never treated very nicely, always the bare necessities, nothing more. But somewhere, Harry never thought it would get this bad.

The summers before, he would just get chores, slaps, and the tiniest scraps of food, but this one would be so much worse. He could already tell that the abuse would continue, for after all, he was Vernon's best scapegoat for problems.

Dudley had always hated him, and that would never stop, so he could always look forward to that. Aunt Petunia had some semblance of reason in her, but he doubted that would continue. He could tell that she was afraid of her husbands rage. Harry was glad though, that he was taking the beatings, and not her. She didn't deserve to be hurt, mostly because she wasn't a freak. This is how Harry reasoned that he deserved to be beaten and hurt, he was a freak.

Some thing brought Harry out of his thoughts; he looked down to see his palm bleeding from the sharp shards of glass that covered the floor. One by one he collected the glass and once he had enough, moved slowly over the rubbish bin to dump it. He was tiring quickly from the exhaustion of being beaten and from the blood he was losing from the spot where the lamp hit him, his head.

He laid his head to rest upon the bed and began to drift off.


	2. Losing Hope

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own. But I can dream.

Chapter 2

"Wake up you infernal piece of scum!!!!" Vernon yelled banging the door open after undoing all the locks, "This is how you repay me? By not cleaning things up when you're told? How DARE you!!!"

Vernon picked up Harry, who was very groggy, and threw him roughly against the wall. Harry moaned and looked up at his uncle, seeing hatred Harry immediately looked away and began to crawl towards the glass.

"You have ten minutes to shower and get cleaned up in the lavatory before you come back here. If you're not back in that time, there will be hell to pay." Vernon said, walking out of the room.

Harry scrambled as fast as he could to get to the loo, though this wasn't very fast. Every few steps he'd stop and try to take a deep breath, wincing as his undoubtedly cracked and broken ribs pushed against his insides. As soon as he made it, he first turned the water on, and then relieved himself. As he peeled off his tattered clothing, he closed his eyes at all the bruises he saw. So many, covering all of his body.

Stepping into the water, Harry hissed in pain as it touched the bruises and cuts all over his body. In the shower, he gingerly tried to pull the shards of glass fragments out of his head and hands, but cried out in pain as they were already scabbing around the edges. Giving up, Harry hurriedly dried and dressed himself, then slowly made his way back to his room, but not before taking a drink from the sink, getting as much as he could.

When he walked into the room, his uncle was sitting on the bed waiting for him.

"Thought you'd take five extra minutes did you?" Vernon hissed standing up and walking towards Harry.

"But..but I didn't kno..know the time, sir!" Harry stuttered backing up against the closed door.

0o0o0o0o0

After it was over, and his uncle went to work, Harry struggled to sit near Hedwig.

"Hey girl. How're you? I know this looks bad, and I'm sorry that I can't let you out. It's just, Uncle Vernon gets angry sometimes, because I'm a freak and I deserve to be beaten." Harry said softly, looking down at himself.

"Besides, if I can survive the next month, surely someone from the Weasleys or maybe Sirius will come to get me. Maybe they'll realize that there's something wrong? But, I mean, who am I kidding, you're the only one that cares what happens to me." Harry whispered. Slowly he picked up the rest of the glass and dumped it into the rubbish bin.

"Here you greedy freak!" his Aunt Petunia said, pushing one piece of bread through the doggy flap, "You're such a greedy little piece of scum, you know? Eating our food like you're Prince Harry or something."

Harry crawled over to the door, his strength waning ever more. He took the piece of bread then went to sit on the bed, groaning as he sat down. He gave half of the bread to Hedwig, so she would stay healthy.

"Actually, I hope that I can stay here the whole summer." Harry said head bowed, "I don't want the Weasleys to get hurt because of me. I mean, Voldemort's going to be after me, so I might as well stay with my family."

Hedwig hooted softly, to reassure her wizard then watched as he struggled to sleep, only to be interrupted when Vernon came home.

The same thing happened as the night before. Harry's "Uncle" Vernon beat him senseless, for being a freak and making him lose money at his drill company. Harry endured the abuse for weeks, just not saying anything; he after all, didn't want to anger his uncle further.

"It must be sometime in July," Harry commented weakly one afternoon, "Only another month or so, and I can get away from here."

Though Harry liked to hope, he knew that it wasn't going to do him any good. No one was coming; no one even cared about him. Heck, with how weak he was, he wasn't even going to last another week, let alone a month.

"Oh Hedwig, I hope you'll still be alive when they get here." Harry said in defeat, passing out after another beating.

**Author's Note:** So, what did you think? You like? In the next chapter, I promise Harry will get rescued. Who do you think it should be by? Please click the little review button at the bottom and tell me what you think!

Also, thanks very much to these individuals who have read my story and added it to their alert lists:

panther73110

Georgie76

BGforever

BrightFeather

hopeless lady dreamer

Draymon

battousai-clau

higherbeingfriendsfan

Yumi-wheeler

hgbrat89

Reviews encourage me, so they are welcome. If I missed anyone who added me, tell me so I can recognize you. Next chapter should be up by Tuesday. Bye for now!


	3. Underhanded Rescue

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Harry Potter.

**Chapter 3**

"I'm really worried about him Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, pacing back and forth in front of Remus's fireplace. Sirius was staying with Remus, because well, he didn't have anywhere else to go.

"I know Padfoot, I know. Dumbledore said that we have to wait a week while the rest of the wards are put up. After that we're free to get him. There has been one thing though, that has been nagging at me. Why hasn't he answered any of our mail? Dumbledore has assured me that he's safe and the wards haven't gone off. Maybe Harry is just mad at us, or doesn't want to say anything important in his letters…" Remus said trailing off, as if he were trying to convince himself of this.

Sirius gazed at his old friend and sighed, "We're both worried, but we have to do what Dumbledore says, right?"

Remus sighed heavily in defeat, though eying Sirius wearily. "What are you planning?"

"Me? Plan something behind your back? Since when?" Sirius asked mockingly. Remus rolled his eyes and stood up from the couch.

"Well, we'll talk more about this tomorrow, it's getting very late and it'll just cause a sleepless night. I'll see you in the morning, goodnight Padfoot."

Sirius watched Remus leave then stared deeply at the fire, concentrating on the flame. He was silently listening to hear when Remus fell asleep. As soon as he did, Sirius crept silently into Remus's room, going over to the nightstand, he grabbed Remus's wand.

"_I'm sorry Remus, but I'll give it back when I'm done._" Sirius thought quietly as he made his way back to the fireplace.

About an hour later, a head popped into the fireplace.

"Fred! Is everyone asleep?" Sirius asked, as he put Floo powder into his pocket.

"Yeah, everyone but me, George, and Ron. I'll pull out so you can come over." Fred said, disappearing with a small little pop.

Sirius immediately tossed his powder into to the flame, "The Burrow."

0o0o0o0o0

Sirius landed in the Burrow, almost knocking into Ron, who was standing a little close to the fireplace.

"I assume that you received my letter, since you are awake and ready." Sirius said, nodding at the three boys in front of him.

"Dumbledore will know if we take him out of the house, therefore, all we are doing is checking on him. Now, before we leave there are some things that we must go over. You all know that if we are caught, your mother is going to have a fit and probably punish you very severely?"

All three boys nodded and Ron spoke, "I just need to know that he's okay. He's my best friend and I care about him. No matter what mum does, it'll be worth it."

"For Merlin's sake, there were bars on his windows two years ago. If that's not bad, then what is?" Fred said whispering fiercely. George nodded at his twin's words and looked back towards the Azkaban escapee.

"Okay. Unless the situation occurs, Ron, you are not to use magic. Fred, George, you may be seventeen, but please don't do anything to wake up his relatives. Who knows what could happen if they were to wake with strange men in their muggle home? No noise is to be made at all! When we find him, all we do is check to make sure that he's alright. We can't remove him tonight; it wouldn't be safe without the proper wards."

"But-"They Weasley boys started, but Sirius cut them off.

"I know. There's nothing I want more to bring him to Remus's cottage, but if you are coming, then you must swear not to interact with him, unless necessary."

"We promise." They all whispered to Sirius.

"Good. Though, I never thought there would be a day where I would have to be the most serious one in a group of people." Sirius said, with a sly glint in his eye.

"Alright come on, be as quiet as possible. The Dursleys!" Sirius called out into the fire, with the Weasley boys following him.

0o0o0o0o0

Harry lay still on his bed, unable to make much movement. "_Why doesn't he kill me?"_ Harry thought trying not to concentrate on the immense pain that coursed through his right leg and arm.

Suddenly, Harry heard a whoosh, as if someone started a fire. _"Vernon wants another round with the fire poker. Hopefully I'll pass out before I feel it too much." _Harry thought rather morbidly. He didn't hear any noise after this, which was strange, especially for his uncle.

0o0o0o0o0

"Which room do you think it is Sirius?" Ron whispered softly.

"I don't know, but it better not be that one with the locks on it." Sirius whispered, and then began instructing each boy to open a certain door. He took the one with the locks on it, not wanting them to use magic in the house.

"Alohamora!" Sirius whispered, pointing his wand at the locks, with a little noise, they all opened, allowing him entrance into the room.

Before opening it, he glanced back at the Weasley's, who all looked at him with an expression that obviously meant they had not found Harry.

Sirius nearly shut the door after cracking it open. It smelt of stale blood and it seemed as if it hadn't been aired out in ages.

"Harry?" Sirius whispered desperately hoping that the lump on the bed wasn't his beloved godson. He saw the figure twitch slightly, and he immediately rushed over.

"Oh gods! Harry! It is you!" Sirius said in sick awe as he took in the shape of his godson. Harry had bruises lining every visible part of his skin, his arms and legs twisted at very odd angles, and his pale sickly face looked even paler against his green eyes. The eyes were what scared Sirius the most; they were haunting, almost dead.

"Blimey!" Gasped George as he walked in, quickly he turned and blocked Ron's view.

"Hey! What are you playing at?" Ron said trying to see, but George kept getting in the way.

"No, go back to the Burrow and get mum up, tell her Harry is injured and he needs help." Ron looked straight into George's eyes, and he knew that this was urgent, so he ran back downstairs to the fireplace.

Harry could see and hear, but it was all a blur to him, possibly even a hallucination. Suddenly Sirius swam into Harry's view.

"Hang on; we're getting you out of here. Fred, go back then floo to the hospital wing and get Madam Pomfrey. George please help me?" Sirius said, starting to gently pick Harry up.

"Make sure he doesn't get too jarred." Sirius said sharply, trying to calm himself down as they made their way back to the fire.

"The Burrow!" Sirius said, following George back to the Burrow.

"_How in Merlin's name could those monsters have done this to Harry?"_ Sirius thought as he disappeared into the flame.

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Author's Note:** Okay, so how did you guys like it? I was on vacation for the past few days and I had written out chapter 3, but when I checked my e-mail, I got a certain message that made me redo the chapter. It is completely different that what I originally wrote, but I like it more. I would like to thank these two people for adding me to their favorites and story alert lists, it means a lot to me!

Speeding x Cars

xjustxletxmexgox

Now, here are my first review responses:

**BrightFeather:** Is this rescue adequate?

**Higherbeingfriendsfan: **Here's chapter 3!

**hopeless lady dreamer: **I'll try to do both, make it longer and update faster. To me it just depends on where the chapter will end.

**Yumi-wheeler: **I'll keep writing for a long time hopefully.

**Xjustxletxmexgox: **Well originally I had planned on Sirius and Remus rescuing him. I do agree that those are the most common people to rescue him. After reading your review I did realize that it was something that should be different. Well I hope it was different enough for you and that you enjoyed it!

Thanks everyone for reviewing! I look forward to reading more reviews for this chapter! Thanks!


	4. I Don't Know

**Disclaimer:** Same as last time!

**Chapter 4**

The second Ron appeared back at the Burrow, he ran straight up to his parent's room. When he reached it, he started pounding on the door.

"MUM!!!! GET UP!!!! HARRY NEEDS-"Ron started but was stopped when his mum slammed open the door.

"Ronald Weasley! What is the meaning of this?" Molly said looking closely at her son.

"Harry's hurt real bad. Sirius is bringing him here." Ron said, leading his mum to the living room. George appeared in the fireplace and he immediately moved aside.

"Ron, get some blankets. George a bowl with cold water and a compress. Oh Merlin! Harry!" Molly Weasley said, seeing Sirius appear in the fire holding a very limp Harry.

"Set him gently here on the couch." Sirius nodded and set his godson on the large squishy couch. The fire flared up again, this time Poppy Pomfrey appeared holding a large bag, with what could be assumed to be potions and medical supplies. Fred appeared behind her, looking very pale.

"Move aside! Oh lord! He should have been taken straight to the Hospital Wing." The Mediwitch scolded as she started checking over him.

"_Reprehendo pestifer__" _Madam Pomfrey said waving her wand. With that, a piece of parchment appeared and it seemed to be creating a list of some sort. Sirius glanced over and paled at what the list said.

-------------------------------------------------------

Patient: Harry James Potter

Date: July 17th, 1995

Injuries:

3 Broken Ribs

Punctured left lung

2 Cracked Ribs

35 Belt Welts

6 Broken Bones throughout right leg

9 Broken/Cracked/Fractured bones throughout right arm

Severe Malnutrition

Numerous cuts, bruises, scrapes, and marks covering 86 percent of said person's body.

Weak/Unstable mind and personality

-------------------------------------------------------

Sirius watched frantically as Poppy worked. He was going stir-crazy, not knowing what was being done. Suddenly it dawned on him that Remus didn't know what had happen.

"I'll be right back." Sirius said urgently, "Phoenix hold."

As soon as he landed at Remus's house, he rushed into Moony's room.

"MOONY GET UP!!" Sirius yelled, startling his old friend.

"What in Merlin's name is so important Padfoot!?" Remus said, sitting up and looking at Sirius's distraught face.

"It's Harry! I don't have time to explain, just meet me at the Burrow!" Sirius said quickly, and then exited the room.

As soon as the word Harry left Sirius's mouth, Remus jumped into action. He was ready to leave in two minutes, though he couldn't find his wand.

"Argh! I'll just come back for it. The Burrow!" He yelled, and then looked around at the Weasley's living room. Everyone was eerily silent and they were all staring at the couch. He couldn't see what was on the couch, as Madam Pomfrey was blocking his view.

"Padfoot? What's going on?" Remus asked softly.

"We, that is Fred, George, Ron and I went to go check and make sure that Harry was alright. Oh here," Sirius said, pausing to hand Remus his wand.

"Merlin, there about 12 different locks on the door. The room, it smelled so horrible, like stale blood. And Harry, oh lord, he was a mess. He..he passed out in the floo and well." Sirius trailed off, his eyes distant and confused.

After injecting several potions directly into Harry's blood stream, Madam Pomfrey stood up and started speaking.

"I've healed his broken bones. His arm will need to be in a sling for a few days though, while the sprains and fractures heal. I've applied salve and solutions to all his bruises and cuts, as well as the welts. His ribs shall be sore for a while, they were very badly broken. I've healed his lung; however it will be difficult for him to take deep breaths for a couple of days. I've given him some nutrition potions that should help give him the nutrients he needs as well as help him keep down solid foods. Right now however, he is in a deep coma."

At this point Sirius stepped back against the fire place, and closed his eyes in frustration. Remus was at a loss for words. Ron sat down and stared at his friend of four years. The twins looked at each other and both gazed upon their adoptive brother. Mr. Weasley, who had come in the room shortly after Poppy arrived, held his wife. Ron was the first to speak up.

"That's all, right? I mean after he wakes up, he'll be totally fine, right?" Ron said softly gazing up at Madam Pomfrey.

"Perhaps the young ones should leave the room…" Poppy began, looking at Mrs. Weasley.

"She's quite right. Off to bed now Fred, George, and Ron. No arguments! You may see Harry in the morning." Mrs. Weasley said sharply in a "no-nonsense" tone. She watched as all three grumbled and went up to their respective rooms.

"What couldn't you say in front of them?" Sirius asked suddenly, coming out of his spot on the wall.

"Even though after a couple of weeks, his physical injuries may heal, that will not be the case with his mental state. He was put through constant abuse and neglect. If he even wakes up-"

"If? IF? What are you saying? That he could be in a coma forever?" Sirius gasped, swaying a bit.

"That may be the case. His mind has been warped and damaged. He may not want to come back to us. If he's given up the will to live, then he will stay in the coma or die. We can only hope that he will want to stay living. But if he does come back to consciousness, there's no telling what kind of mental state he will be in."

At this point everyone had taken a seat and was trying to absorb this information. Remus stared at Sirius, who looked so lost at that point.

"When he wakes up," Remus said choosing his words carefully, so not upset Sirius more,"What can we expect?"

"Well, he'll probably flinch at every touch. For sure he'll have severe nightmares. He might not be interested in the activities that he used to enjoy. He will probably go into a state of shock, then depression. At this point, I don't think you want to know anymore. We should just focus on bringing him back." Poppy said tiredly.

"The best thing right now, is for all of you to get some rest. Tomorrow, you'll need to constantly reassure him that you want him back. In some cases like this, the victims can hear what is going on around them. I'll be back tomorrow to see if there has been any change. Right now, I'll leave some Dreamless Sleep Potion for all of you. I will also inform the headmaster of this. One thing you should know, if it had been any later, he probably wouldn't be in a coma, he'd be dead."

With that, she gathered up her belongings, leaving the Dreamless Sleep vials on the table. She then took her leave through the fireplace and back to Hogwarts.

"We'll leave you three be." Arthur Weasley said, as he took Molly and two vials of the potion upstairs.

"Remus? How could we have let this happen? This is James's son! How could we have failed Harry this much? Lord, we don't even know if he'll live." Sirius said, on the verge of a break down.

"I don't know Padfoot, I don't know." Was all that Remus could say, as he gazed at the broken boy in front of them.

**Author's Note:** Phew! Wow! That was intense! Thank you guys so much for reviewing and supporting me, it really inspires me to write more. So, thoughts, comments, questions on the chapter? Thanks to these new people for adding me to their respective lists:

**theatrephunk, tribalranger, soniapotter, LadyClaire87, Phi ScarlaDraconia, Boxerdogtessa, and Fabi**

Now to review responses!

**Miss Kryptonite: **Thank you very much, and I shall!

**BrightFeather: **You're welcome, and that will come eventually.

**Tribalranger: **Thank you and I hope you like this.

**Elpin: **First of all, thank you for the compliment. Second, to tell you the truth, I haven't much though of pairings. If there will be any pairings in the future, I'm not sure that they will be slash, as this is my first story, I'm not sure I'm ready to write slash. But I guess it's kind of a wait and see thing. And thank you again, it means a lot to me!

**Yumi-wheeler: **Thanks very much. I do believe that this one is a bit longer.

Well, thank you to you all. Everyone has inspired me to keep writing, and as long as there are supporters, I shall not give up! Thanks again, and please review with your input!


	5. Tears

**Disclaimer:** I could never take credit for Harry Potter, ever!!

**Authors Note: **The long sequences that are in italics are either when someone is having a flashback, or it's showing what's going on in Harry's mind. You should be able to tell which is which, by the context clues, but if you get confused at all, just ask me. On with the story!

**Chapter 5**

"Harry, I know that you're in there somewhere. Oh Gods I love you so much. I should have never let anything happen to you, I should have known that something was wrong. I'm sorry; I can't bear to lose you. If you die, you'll kill Sirius, and I can't live without either of you." Remus said quietly gazing as his best friend's godson, thinking back to the night before.

"_I'll take the first watch Padfoot." Remus said, turning from Harry to look at Sirius._

"_No. I need to be here for Harry. He's all I have and he can't be alone right now." Sirius said stubbornly, moving to Harry's side and brushing a strand of hair away from his eyes._

"_How can you be there for him, if you can't take care of yourself? You've been driving yourself crazy for a week, and now that he's finally here, you're refusing to sleep completely. Tell me, how can that possibly benefit Harry?" Remus said softly,"You're not the only one that cares Sirius."_

_Sirius sighed and looked at Moony,"How about we both take the first watch…"_

"_Alright, but I'm going to make us some tea." Remus said, getting up. Sirius was so busy watching Harry, he didn't notice when Remus came back, nor when he slipped some Dreamless Sleep Potion into Sirius's own cup of tea._

"_Here you go Padfoot." Remus said, handing him a cup, then sipping on one himself, "It'll keep you going longer."_

"_Thanks." Sirius said, downing it as fast as he could,"Wait a sec-"_

_Sirius looked at Remus with a hurt expression, before he succumbed to a dreamless sleep._

"_I'm sorry Sirius, but it was for your well-being, as much as for Harry's." Remus said. He gently picked up Sirius and laid him down on the couch opposite Harry._

"Mr. Lupin?" Remus heard, startled out of his thoughts.

"Ron, you may call me Remus, otherwise it'll make me feel old." Remus said, looking at his former student, and then looking at the normal clock on the wall. He realized it was already 6 in the morning.

"Is he going to be alright?" Ron asked hesitantly looking at his best friend.

"Right now he, well, he needs to be reassured that he's loved and cared about. Believe he's going to be alright, and try to make him believe it." Remus said with a slight sadness in his voice, "He's been through too much and it's taken its toll. I'm going to leave the both of you, so I can get some rest. When Sirius wakes, tell him that I'm sorry and that it was for the best."

With all that being said, Remus left the room and headed to the guest room that Molly was letting him use. After he left Ron stared at his best friend and went to sit by his side.

"Hey Harry. I would ask how you're doing, but it's obvious that you're not doing well at all. Man, this isn't right. You've been through so much in your life, and it's not fair. I mean, I feel like such a git, especially for last year. I mean I abandoned you, which wasn't right because you needed your friends, but I mean, I never realized that your 'home' life wasn't good. Not even after first year. I mean, you had bars on your windows, I can't believe I didn't think more of it. I mean, I could've prevented this from happening; I should have been a better friend. Harry, you're my best friend, and you always have been. I love you Harry. I mean, you're the nicest and strongest person I know. You never give up on anything, and you're always there when needed. Let me be there for you. Hermione and I can't make it without you. We wouldn't be a trio anymore. You can't leave us alone."

Ron gently hugged his best friend and started to sob, "I'm so sorry."

-------------------------------------------------------

While on the outside, everyone was expressing their feelings to Harry, the inside, was quite different. The physical Harry was on the Weasley's couch in their living room, but Harry's spirit stood in a graveyard, in his mind.

_Harry, for the most part, stood staring at one particular gravestone, Tom Riddle, Voldemort's father. Occasionally he'd hear the voices of the ones he loved, but just little pieces._

_From Remus he heard, "die…you'll kill Sirius…should've known…something was wrong…you…can't live."_

"_I'm sorry Remus; I know I'll just cause you more pain. Maybe I should just die, that would be easier on everyone right?" Harry said quietly, then he heard the voice of his best friend._

"_Harry…isn't right…not fair…git…abandoned you…home life…good…bars…better friend…give up…leave us alone." Harry heard from Ron. _

"_Sorry Ron. You're too right I am a git. I'll leave you alone, so you can have better friends." Harry said as he sat down, leaning against the gravestone._

Ron sat staring at his friend for some time, before he noticed anyone behind him. Suddenly, he was pulled into a hug from behind.

"What the-"Ron started, before he realized that it was his Mum, "Mum, I…I'm so scared for him."

"I know Ronald." Molly Weasley said, as she hugged her son tightly, letting him sob and let his feelings out.

"Let's go make breakfast." Molly started, gazing longingly at her surrogate son.

"But Mum," Ron said, wiping away his tears, "I don't want to leave him alone."

"He won't be." Molly said, pointing behind Ron. Ron turned sharply to see the Sirius was up and looking at Harry.

"Oh… Sirius, Remus asked me to tell you that he was sorry, and that it was for the best, whatever that means." Ron said, getting up to follow his mother to the kitchen.

"I understand, thanks Ron." With that, he walked over to Harry's makeshift bed. He pulled the covers up and tucked him in.

"Harry. I've only known you for a year and I love you so much. You're an amazing kid and I wish to know you more. I care about you so much; I love you like you were my own son. I think that is what James would have wanted, to make sure that you had a father no matter what. Yeah, what a great father figure I've been. I can't believe I let this happen to you. Last year you were so amazing and strong, I don't think I even realized that you were only 13 at the time. You're so mature, and you've grown up so fast. It's not fair, you never got to have a real childhood, and that's not right. I should've been there for you. I'm so sorry; I haven't been a good godfather. But please come back to us, I will try very hard, I promise you that, and I swear that upon your father's grave. I love you so much!" Sirius sobbed watching his broken godson for any type of sign.

_Harry looked up as he heard his godfather's voice,"Harry…love you…amazing…my own son…James…father…strong…mature…childhood...sorry…godfather…promise….love."_

_Harry gasped as he saw the front of the graveyard change into Hogwarts. He stood up looked at both sides. On his left stood Hogwarts, bright and welcoming; to his right, the graveyard where Voldemort was reborn, looking gloomy and dank. _

_Suddenly, Harry understood, these were his choices. He could choose to continue on his fateful journey, or let go and join his parents. _

"_Even if no one but Sirius loves me, I can't leave him alone." Harry said softly, tears in his eyes. Slowly, he started to trek up to the castle doors, back to hell._

Sirius gasped in shock through his sobs, in his gazing, he realized that tears were making their way down Harry's cheeks.

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**Author's Note:** How was it? Did you guys enjoy it? I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in awhile. I was in band camp and my time was limited, as I was constantly tired. School starts on Monday, but I'm confident that I will update at least twice a month. Please review and here are my review replies:

**Xjustxletxmexgox: **Thank you so much!! I'm glad that you like it!! I hope this update is as satisfactory as the last one.

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**neko262012: **I love making things intense; it makes it so much more real! Thanks for reviewing!!

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Thanks to all who have read, reviewed, or added my story. Support and reviews encourage me, but every little bit helps. I plan on having the next chapter out by September 1st, feel free to give me suggestions!!! Thanks again and please review!


	6. It's Not Fair

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is not mine!!

**Chapter 6**

Sirius stayed next to Harry for the whole day, only leaving to use the lavatory, if he needed anything he asked Remus, who was there with him. Sirius constantly held Harry's hand and whispered reassuring words. It was later that evening, around 8 or so, that someone other than Remus spoke to Sirius.

"Umm…Sirius?"

"Wha- oh, yes?" Sirius said, his gaze setting on the youngest Weasley.

"I was wondering if I could, well, maybe say a few words to Harry. You know, maybe it'll help…" Ginny trailed off, looking at Harry. She had been told that morning when she awoke. She hadn't left her room, until now.

Sirius stood and looked at her, "Of course, he would want his friends to be there for him. I'll just go make some tea."

Remus stood and followed his old friend. He watched as Sirius put the pot on and waited until Sirius looked at him. "Sirius, are you okay?"

"Am I okay? Am I okay? How could you ask that Moony? How could I possibly be okay, knowing that my godson, the one person that I'm supposed to take care of, is lying on that couch fighting for his life?" Sirius said fiercely, his emotions bubbling, "It's not fair. After everything, even after James and Lily, I was supposed to take him. It was all supposed to be alright. He was supposed to grow up with me, and know everything about his parents. Why Moony? Why the hell did things have to turn out this way? It's just not fair, not fair for Harry, me, Lily, James, you, not for any of us…"

Remus, recognizing the break-down that was about to happen, moved over and pulled Sirius into a hug. Once there, Sirius sobbed hard, holding onto Remus for dear life.

"Shhh…Sirius." Remus said softly, gently pulling Sirius away, to look at him.

"All that doesn't matter right now. You've got to be here for Harry, because he will wake up, he has to." Remus stressed, emphasizing the last bit.

Sirius nodded and wiped his eyes, then looked up when he heard the whistle of the water, "I'll finish getting the tea."

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As soon as Sirius left, Ginny went right to Harry's side.

"Hey Harry, its Ginny. I know that we're not the closest of friends, but I really care about you. I still like you, even though it might not be that noticeable, but I really do. You matter in my life, and I can't lose you, you're too important, not just to me, but to everyone who knows you. The twins have not been themselves, they barely talk or smile. Ron, well he owled Hermione and since then has been keeping himself busy, because he doesn't want to let his feelings show. We all care about you so much. You know, Sirius hasn't left your side for more than a minute. He's beside himself with worry, and all Remus can do is hope, that for everyone's sake, you come back. I don't know where you are, but we need you here, we love you."

Ginny stood up and kissed Harry softly and quickly on the lips, then went into the kitchen.

"You guys can go back to him now, he really needs you." Ginny said, wiping her own tears from her eyes, she couldn't bare shedding them in front of Harry.

"I'll be back in the morning." She said, and then left to go to her room.

"C'mon Padfoot, she said that Harry needs you." Remus said, grabbing the tea and levitating the pot behind him. Sirius turned into Padfoot and bounded back to the couch; gently he licked Harry's face, and nuzzled against him.

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_Halfway up the castle, he heard Ginny's voice. It had been awhile since he heard anything but buzzing and silence, so he perked up his ears to listen._

"_Friends…care about you….like you….matter…life…important…twins…barely smile…Ron…Hermione…busy….feelings…you…Sirius hasn't left…worry…Remus…hope…we love you."_

_Harry stopped and looked at the cloudy sky. Ginny's words were confusing, but reassuring at the same time. "We love you." That was the one thing that irked him._

"_They love me? Why? I'm a freaked…no one is supposed to..." Harry said, again he looked towards the castle, and the now distant graveyard, he was still confused. _

"_Did I make the right choice? Well, I guess I will find out when I get to the castle…" Harry said, then started forward again, but this time, he felt something different. For a second, he thought he saw a big black dog bounding toward him, but then pushed it aside as a figment of his imagination._

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Sirius looked up, still in his dog form, he noticed Mrs. Weasley walk into the room. He was on the floor right next to the couch, guarding Harry; Remus was asleep on the couch opposite Harry's.

Molly gazed at the raven-haired boy that she considered as her surrogate son. She sighed and said softly, "I'm sorry that we failed you Harry, but never again will we let this happen."

With that she walked out of the room to start the day. Sirius stood up and turned back into a human, then sat in the chair. He heard a whoosh and immediately turned to look at the fireplace, changing back to Padfoot in alarm.

"Sorry to scare you Sirius." Hermione said, looking at the dog in concern, "I guess you didn't know that I was coming today."

"No, I didn't" Sirius said softly, as he changed back and stood away from Harry, so Hermione could see him.

"Oh my!!" Hermione gasped at the small form on the couch. Harry was covered in blankets and it looked as if he was being suffocated by the amount that was there.

"How is he?" Hermione choked out, with tears in her eyes.

"No real change, besides Poppy injecting him with nutrient potions." Sirius said tiredly, "I'll be back."

Hermione sat by Harry wordlessly, and gazed upon him. "I'm so sorry that we didn't notice. We love you so much, please come back to us.

That was all she could say, gently she hugged him and cried. When she heard noises, she slowly detangled herself from Harry and went to help Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen.

When she saw Sirius in the kitchen she spoke, "Sirius, where's Hedwig?

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**Author's Note:** Okay, I know that this chapter was shorter than the last one, but this seemed like a good place to stop, and I wanted to update soon. I hope that you like it, and here are the review responses:

**Xjustxletxmexgox: **Thank you, here's more!!

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**Muggle394: **I know I am. I love cliffhangers, so I'm more inclined to write them. Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing, I really really appreciate it!

**hopeless lady dreamer: **Again, I'm sorry for the shortness, it's like a bad habit that I need to kick. It was cheesy, just a bit, but yeah, I liked it. Thanks for reviewing, and of course reading!!

Thank you to those who have added me to your respective lists:

**Nexess, Haru Hotaru, MersMers, Randomchick16, Reborn19, Muggle394, gryhndsr4us, and kngkk**

Thank you to all who are reading this story. It means a lot to me. I do wish to receive more reviews. Every little piece of input and advice is helpful to me, and helps me to get the chapter out sooner. Thank you!!!!!! Oh, and there should be some Dursley action in the next chapter, so stay tuned!!


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